A New Me Helping the New You

I stand on the precipice of a new self, and the view is just dandy. Welcome, everyone! What is the welcome for, you ask? Why, it is the welcoming of a creation of a blog without the title of "public school teacher" attached to its author! On May 28 of 2008, my nine year identity of a high school English teacher ended, so that I may pull up stakes, and plant new ones in the fruit-bearing grounds of education. However, instead of sowing the seeds as a teacher in a public system, I'm now sowing the seeds in the private sector, as a new owner to my one year old business, Excellence in Academics Tutoring, LLC. Watch for the name, as you will see it on a marquis in the near future.

And it is amazing to see how quickly the transformation from teacher to entreprenuer has taken place. After the initial "work so hard that you don't even realize school is over until two days past" coma had subsided, I got down to business - quite literally. I called my website company that's designing my new webpage, and sent them my new logo (I don't think I've ever loved the possessive pronoun "my" until becoming a business owner), and finished writing the text that will be going on the pages of my site (did I mention that I love "my")? I also, on the wise advice of my superior business coach, joined a networking organization, from which I've already gained a new client, whose kids with whom are wonderful to work! In addition to that, there are blogs to write, articles to transfer, and the creation of material for my tutees to be done. And, as I expected, instead of it being fatiguing, it has been nothing short of exhilarating!

In a previous post, I brought up the idea of a person trying to juggle her passion with her life's work, and in a point that's been long culminating, I've created a business that absolutely meshes the two! There is nothing more intoxicating for me than knowledge, and now, I've opened up a business that's centered around it. I've made it my business to have knowledge about English and reading, and now, in the greatest joy, I get to share and teach that knowledge to kids in the privacy of their home, or the nearest library. It is absolutely cutting out the middle-man, and brings back the discussion and absorbtion of knowledge to a personalized level. The relationship between tutor and tutee cuts out the classroom dynamic, which is always entertaining, but not always the most effective when the process of learning is happening.

So, as the newer version of the older me develops as a business owner, the newer older version of you as student will develop into a student who excels in academics - thus the new entity, Excellence in Academics Tutoring, LLC.

What You Don't Know ...

I am not trying to be a snob. I am unfolding a sequence of collected experiences to illuminate a certain conclusion I have been drawn to through my own ponderings. Here are the events, and they are unrelated to each other:

The Bad -

• An acquaintance of mine has a limited scope of how she views and processes things. She doesn't have enough foresight to think of things she is trying to achieve, and because of it, she has lost out on job opportunities that would have provided for a higher income, and for a better quality of life. Unfortunately, she doesn't see her culpability in the matter. She is blissfully ignorant about her station, and how its ceiling is suffocatingly small.


• English teachers (ashamedly enough), newsmen and women, and billboards across the state, (and sadly, I'm sure, across the nation), are promoting illiteracy, and the destruction of the English language. I think with gloomy amazement about how many people will think that bad grammar and usage is the correct, standard way of speaking.


• Interest in reading is at a depressingly low point for teenagers. Granted, there are many things to have an interest in, but few interests spread the spark and rabidity of ideas the way that reading does so quickly.

The Good -

• An old dog learning new tricks: I am always amazed about how talented some of my students are. A couple I know thrive, flourish, and perform with their own musical groups, several are outstanding athletes; for someone whose athletic ability is inversely proportional to her "book smarts," dumb, speechless admiration is the only thing I can use to describe how impressed I was with this grace on the field and court. Some are so talented, as a matter of fact, that they have scholarships with "free rides" to renowned universities. Just think where their natural skill will take them. Just think about the natural skill of universities, that can open their minds to more than just the ball, but the book, as well.


• The little piece of paper that can mean so much, and no, it's not the one that puts you in a church or Justice of the Peace. A degree, Silly! Obviously, it doesn't always guarantee a person to be wiser, but if a person is wise, the person will make a correlation between what she knows, and how much money is in the wallet because of what's in her brain. It never fails to astound me in the most profound way that I've made a healthy livliehood just because I know and love English (I think to love equals to know). I've worked my degrees as soon as I've earned them, and it's amazing to realize that one can put a price on knowledge (a lucrative price, as well).


• On a grand scale: I just received an e-mail about an organization you can find at http://www.freerice.com/. Based on your skill with vocabulary, you donate, through your knowledge of vocabulary, grains of rice. The highest level you can achieve is 60, but many people don't get above 50 (I earned a 41, and donated 1,000 grains of rice). Literally, you can help save lives by what you know. Miraculous.

I guess this blog has to do with my amazement based on the knowledge one has, and where it can take him, or the people affected by his life. There are no shortage of corny maxims around teachers, and how they affect lives, but when you stop to think about it, it doesn't stop at teachers. Musicians, artists, the "movers and shakers" of this world, the people who stop to think about things in a different way, and because of it, affect something else positively. If people started looking at what they didn't know, maybe it would motivate them to find out how it could help them. The other "H" word that does much more good than the other.

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

"Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one's liberty." As I embark on my last two weeks of school, I find this idea, stated by Henri Frederic Amiel, especially poignant, as the last day of this school year is not the start of the countdown to the first day back. It is the start of a whole new enterprise, as I've made the decision to retire, permanently, from teaching. So, yes, I hope to find many secret joys, as I sever a major tie to my identity, and more fearfully, a tie to a livelihood that, if not always competitive, is always consistent and stable.
I firmly believe that we are who we are, even starting from the beginning of childhood. It's not that we necessarily change, but as people who mature, we change into our ultimate selves - our honed "irreducible self," as James Joyce so aptly put it. Because teaching is the conveying of knowledge, my alternate line of work is not far from it: I have opened up my own tutoring business, and am planning on changing the way kids not only learn knowledge, but how to appreciate it, as well. It is our responsibility in life to acknowledge the exigent inside of us by showing others that they have an inner "something" that makes them tick. One of the chief means of doing this is by education, as it shows people a myriad of ways in which to reflect on themselves, and on the things they will experience in life. In art, it is argued that artists do not create because they want to, but rather, it is because they have to do so. The inner fire that burns within them won't let them cease creating an expression of themselves. But, why draw the boundary line at artists? Maybe one of the secret joys of life is to realize that we all have an artist within us, and we just have to learn how to coax it out with the purposeful strokes of the brush.
And as far as gaining liberty goes, an idea that seemingly contradicts the previous sentiment is one said in the literary world: that nothing new can ever be created or written. That each theme written upon deals with the universal ideas of God, love, and death. Certainly, these things have been written about, and mulled over through the ages, but the challenge in self-education, or helping someone else with his education is seeing these universal ideas in a way that is uniquely impacting to him. Not only can you teach an old dog new tricks, but the old dog will be thrown a bone in this sometimes harsh world in which we live. And sustenance, of the literal and metaphorical kind, is a freedom that has no value.

An Out from Down in the Dumps - Art as Weapon

"The first condition for the liberation of mind is the liberation of man...." Andre Breton figured it out. As an individual in society, one not only contends with who he or she is as a person, but to compound the issue of finding one's place in the world is the idea of being encumbered with the responsibilities of mundanity (at this moment, I have ten research papers in my car that I still have not graded, but I'd rather talk about my liberation from the papers to discuss art). Ahem. My witty repertoire aside, the idea of freeing man to expand one's mind is seminal in understanding what makes for a satisfied humanity.

So, clearly, one has to determine what is the cause for the feeling of satiety in her own life; I think we get glimpses of it in who we are as people, and also, the things that we are exposed to as we develop into the "irreducible self" (thank you, Mr. James Joyce) we inevitably become. However, I think exposure to art, and the arts in general, help us in discovering the divine within ourselves. Quirt, a Surrealist artist, argued that, "...we all have essentially the same fantasy life ... and [the artist should learn to] release his own fantasies ...." in order to evoke something from humanity. Maybe one can argue that part of this same fantasy we all share is the desire for beauty, in any way one thinks of it, in order to remind us that there is something divine within us inherently. Even if it gets mired down in the "everydays" of life, we always see, read, or experience something that breaks through the stupor of life's heavy burdens. And even if we don't literally shout for joy, we can feel that joy surge. And that is the purpose of art. If life beats us, and can at times make us downtrodden, then art as a weapon makes sense. The troubles of life could use a cudgel from life's beauties every once in a while.

Sometimes, in It Sinks.

Well, the countdown has begun - for both the students, and the teachers. With less than a month of school left, war weary from the battles and victories in the classroom, both I, myself, as the teacher, and my students that I teach, have settled into an understanding of each other; it's quite lovely to watch their interaction with me, but even more special is their interactions with each other, and how their dialogue has been influenced by how I talk to my students. Yes, along with their learning, learning how to be decent to each other, sinks in, too.
I've seen a few examples of this decency, and it is touching, whether the humanity seen within the classroom is directed toward another student or me. One example that was especially poignant happened only but a week ago. There was a student in the room who was sporting a redhanded look based on something that happened. It was an awkward moment within the classroom, and I wondered how it was going to play out the following day because it involved another student who was affected by the behavior. Well, as Scarlett intimated, "tomorrow is another day," and sure enough, the sun rose on it. Class had begun, and all the players arrived. Before the second bell had rung the clarion call of the start of class, the one student asked to speak privately--outside of the class--to the student affected by his behavior, and I was so impressed by his manly behavior of addressing the issue. Both students returned a few moments later, and as the students like to say, it was "squashed." No theatrics, no posturings of violence, it was just settled as two, young men worked it out with each other. I was so proud to see it, as when I am addressing an issue with a student, I will always take him or her outside to the hallway, so that it does not become the showdown at the O.K. Corral in Scottsdale.
At the start of this school year when I did this, I do not think it was clear to the students as to why I chose to speak to them outside. They saw it more as an embarrassment because they felt themselves being singled out. I find, though, that when I speak to them calmly, and explain my reasoning, it not only rubs off on them, but sinks into them, too. Too see them, then, internalize this behavior, and model it themselves is a great accomplishment.
Frequently, in the classroom, I see the happenings within it as a series of "washes." One has good days, bad days, and everything in between those two points. What was a complete loss one day when dealing with a student, can turn into a victory the next by discipline, or by further communication. Again - the idea of "washes." However, when I see a student show decency based on something he or she sees in class, it is not just a victory, but a victory of both the battle and the war. As a society that's become desensitized to violence, to brash words that show a lack of dignity, and to too familiar language that would make anyone blush, it is validating to see young students practice the art of a kind humanity.
Even more beautiful is seeing a student practice kindness because of love for one another. On the very same day the sun rose on the two students settling the issue, a good friend of the student who could be seen as the transgressor, expressed his solidarity to him by going up to him, putting his arm around him, and having a good talk with him while in a half-embrace of support. And that is when, as a teacher, I am reminded of the inherent goodness of each of my kids. At that moment, in it really sinks.

"'[A]y, there's the rub'" (Hamlet).

"Compared to all the forces tearing apart the larger world, the destruction of American education may seem a minor matter. But it looms large in my small world and, I think, in yours" (Yatvin 363). And if this statement, quoted from Joanne Yatvin's speech in Research in the Teaching of English, from an address she delivered at a NCTE convention does not move you, perhaps it will after considering the following discussion.

The speech from Yatvin delineates the breakdown of the American educational system, and how it seems to have become an issue similar to the magnificent elephant that is in the living room that no one is brave enough to acknowledge.

As I drive past schools within Phoenix, I am always taken aback, as I see big, lurid banners professing the labeled school as "excelling." For those not in the know, there are now labels the government has put in place to make schools accountable (sadly enough, the latest trend in education is to put all the accountability on the school and teachers within it; however, accountability on the students themselves, seems to be lacking). Ranging from "failing" to "excelling," it always reminds me of the exploitation of our educational system, which is being swept up by initiatives that do no work, and a "selling out" in the most promiscuous of ways: let's not be concerned with the fact that this craze to "making the grade" has less to do with actually ensuring the educational system is serving our kids, and more to do with a quick "bandaid" on the eyesore that is really festering. And the eyesore, as I see it, is that the schooling system within America has fallen mercy to political correctness, and a spinelessness brought about by educational notions that say the system needs to be "sensitive" to the kids in order to avoid "damage" to their esteem. Combine this with an enervation of a disciplinary structure that disciplines unwieldy students, and one can most assuredly smell that something is fishy in the state of Denmark.

And, obviously, this weakening of our educational system does not stop at making kids accountable for their behavior. Of course not. It insidiously sweeps into their learning, and the teachers' pedagogies. If you are a teacher, throw away any confidence or training that you have been taught, because the government has superceded anything you might know as valid for a program that is sure to fail. Yatvin elaborates, as she realistically explains the issues of the initiative, "No Child Left Behind:" "Underlying the creation of NCLB is a profound mistrust of schools and teachers, concealed by the term 'accountability" (368). This mistrust has completely taken the teacher out of the learning equation. And because of this, teachers, and therefore, students, fail to see the importance of tests that do not connect with any of the learning that is, indeed, going on in the classrooms across the nation.

All of this is a hard, educational pill to swallow. As a teacher, it is hard to accept the degeneration of a schooling system which is supposed to engender a love of learning and knowledge. As more teachers leave the profession of teaching en masse due to these very reasons, I leave you with a poignant statement espoused by Yatvin: "Our students, our colleagues, our knowledge, our ideals, our profession; these are our loves. Be true to them all" (372).

While Reading "Macbeth," "Screw your courage to the sticking-place, and [you'll] not fail."

One of the most quoted and seminal poets of our time is Shakespeare, a man who is solely responsible for infusing today's language with 1,600 phrases, and is the only known man in literature who has an Elvis Presley reputation: the King has his name, and Shakespeare has his - the Bard. Why, then, does a man who has such an infinite knowing of the human psyche instill fear and dread in his readers? If you are a high school student, or if you remember your high school days, reading Shakespeare was about as fun as getting a root canal, although, in most cases, sadly, the root canal would be preferred. For the sage that said in "Macbeth," "'Sleep no more! / Macbeth does murder sleep ...'" (531), it would probably come as a surprise to him that many students think he, himself, has murdered any fun in the high school canon. Students just think that Shakespeare is b8%$ng (I can't bring myself to type out the accursed word). Why are students so circumspect in digging into Shakespeare like anyone of his gravediggers that besprinkle his plays? His words are the things that make reading him in high school have such a sting.
Yes, many would be surprised to find out that as archaic and intimidating as Shakespeare's words may sound, they are still considered modern language. I'll wait for the suprised gasps to end ... that is right. If you were to follow the timeline of the English language (God bless it!), you'd find that old English doesn't even look like anything that resembles what we know of today as English. Considering this, it is easy to put in perspective that as foreign as it may sound to some ears--especially ears of the high school kind--that Shakespeare's language is, indeed, modern English. But the sting also comes not just from the words, but from the fallacious thinking that Shakespearean plays are just not that interesting. The human spirit is a mystery, and the high school spirit is even more confounding.
Being a high school teacher in the depths of "Macbeth" with my students, I've had a chance to probe them about why they are so reluctant to appreciate the play, and they are hard-pressed to come up with any redeeming qualities about the work itself. However, they also do not see the connection between the universal ideas that Shakespeare espoused, and the very same ideas that they find in contemporary movies and books of today. They would rather read The Outsiders. And granted this book does have some great plot, students fail to realize that the plots are even juicier and more titillating in "Macbeth," and other plays as well. So, as a parent who might be frustrated with the lack of enthusiasm your child has of his schooling, what suggestions can be offered to you?
Some of the suggestions I have are to be a bit as devious as the villainous Macbeth. Even though I've found the kids proclaiming their boredom from here to Verona--where we lay our mutinous scene--a little encouragement and accountability on their parts go a long way. In school, my success has been in getting the kids to do the thinking in cooperative groups, and then make a game out of their answers. I randomly assign numbers, and when the number is called, the person assigned those numbers stands up, and talks about the answers the group came up with in their assignments. Because it's an arbitrary assigning, the pressure is alleviated, and the encouragement from the teacher puts them in a productive, and most importantly, open state of mind so that they can appreciate what they used to denounce.
If students regularly get those assignments that put them in the thinking "hot seat," and if it is done in a way that encourages a friendly learning environment, they wouldn't be so "brainsickly" in nature to Shakespeare's genius. It would do Lady Macbeth proud.